Its 7.30 in the morning and I am sitting in my brothers kitchen looking out onto the orchard garden in his beautiful 300 year old Cotswold cottage with a steaming cup of tea pondering the future.
This place is so beautiful it makes you feel slightly ill.
My brother is a very hard working lawyer and this country idyll is one of the fruits of his labour.
At 37 years old, I catch myself wondering if I am in the right job. I have chosen a career that is unlikely to serve up such profit. Should I call it a day and, while I still have some wit about me, train to do something with structure, a salary….a desk?!
That way I would have some idea of whats coming in before it goes out. I would be able to assure my wife that she can have that particular holiday at that particular time. Treats reserved for those who chose the steady path.
Then I remember the call from my agent yesterday about an audition, and with it the familiar feeling that has been my close friend for over 20 years. Its called hunger.
You see, when you are doing the thing you were made for, the hunger will remain. Regardless of disappointment, exhaustion, cynicism and doubt..hunger will remain.
I say that we need to stay hungry, stay driven. Keep throwing logs on the fire because, honestly, only the hungry get to eat.
Cottages, clothing, holidays and ‘security ‘ will wave and blow kisses at you, beckoning you to drop anchor and reject your artistic drive. You will begin to see your former desires as childish, unrealistic and pointless but don’t be fooled. The path to artistic achievement is strewn with the bodies of people who settled for less and gave in to the sirens of security, and there they rest, sated but unfulfilled.
St.Iraneus said “The glory of God is a man fully alive”.
If something brings you life and harms no one in the process, you have found the thing you were made for. Stay hungry and chase it with all your heart.
To you, the artist.